i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
