THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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