I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
This is my gift to your gina
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
