she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Randomize
