Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
A+ Viking dick
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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