She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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