she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
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