What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
