I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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