what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
