so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Just pee around me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize