Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
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He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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