She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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