You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Randomize
