Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
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