We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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