Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
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