I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Randomize
