I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Bring me that man meat
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Randomize
