Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
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Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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