words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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