I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
