community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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