I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Boobs are out for the taking
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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