It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I lost the right to judge tonight
Randomize
