i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
