I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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