and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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