FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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