Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
