Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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