As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
