Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
