Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
