Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
