He told me they were just razor bumps!
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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