apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
