What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
