I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
