I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
