Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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