She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
