she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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