I wanna bring you to show and tell
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
The ass gains better be worth it
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