Midget sex pt 2 tonight
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
