we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
