yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
