just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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