I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
