I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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