I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..