i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.