Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming

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(703): my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming http://tfl.nu/nmyq

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(571): View more from Virginia

final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself

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(571): final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself http://tfl.nu/96ze

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(510): View more from California

you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.

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(510): you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks. http://tfl.nu/dlzp

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(602): View more from Arizona

making cat noises will not fix the situation.

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(602): making cat noises will not fix the situation. http://tfl.nu/m8sq

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(509): View more from Washington

she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.

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(509): she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age. http://tfl.nu/4icz

Replies (31) Good night (584) Bad night (8418)
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(503): View more from Oregon

you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt

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(503): you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt http://tfl.nu/y7uz

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(912): View more from Georgia

i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS

(1-912): View more from Georgia

dude...come out of the closet already

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(912): i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS (1-912): dude...come out of the closet already http://tfl.nu/3iv6

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(404): View more from Georgia

can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.

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(404): can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out. http://tfl.nu/5bm3

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(254): View more from Texas

his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker

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(254): his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker http://tfl.nu/f6e1

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(214): View more from Texas

I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.

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(214): I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars. http://tfl.nu/iixj

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,

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(412): Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage, http://tfl.nu/ten2

Replies (15) Good night (4442) Bad night (792)
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(559): View more from California

there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.

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(559): there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap. http://tfl.nu/jpym

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(580): View more from Oklahoma

Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.

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(580): Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process. http://tfl.nu/pl4v

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(757): View more from Virginia

Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.

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(757): Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch. http://tfl.nu/5xkl

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(315): View more from New York

at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing

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(315): at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing http://tfl.nu/t14u

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