The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.