I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
