Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY