Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
You pole danced in your parka.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
