well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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