Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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