The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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