We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
where are my eyebrows?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
