I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
