Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Randomize
