And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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